WHO IS YOUR HUSBAND’S NEXT OF KIN

 


In Africa, women, sometimes feel very reluctant to ask their husbands some vital questions. For instance, when a woman begins to ask her husband who his next of kin is, the instant impression is that the woman has some sinister motives. For this reason, some women keep mute but begin to regret for keeping quite when the unexpected happens.

Some women, on the other hand, don’t even see the need to enquire about such vital issue or rather it does not cross their minds to know who their husband used as his next of kin.

One fact we must realise is that most times, death comes without warning. Therefore, a man may not have the opportunity to correct certain things before bowing out of this world. When he dies, the family will be enmeshed in a legal battle. That is if the woman or her children are literate but the illiterate women will be subjected to a life of penury due to a careless oversight.

let’s look at it this way- your husband is a civil or public servant. He started work before you two got married. Certainly there is a next of kin in his employment documents. It is vital you find out and correct where necessary.

On the other hand, your husband is self employed, but he has started his business and possibly, has acquired some properties and has existing bank accounts before you two got married. The properties and bank accounts are documented with a next of kin who is certainly not you his wife or your children.

This is exactly what happened to a family I know very well. The man was a University lecturer. As at the time he got the job, he was not married so he used his elder brother as his next of kin. He got married, had five children-3 males and two females. As at the time the man died, his first son was 23 years and in his final year in the university while the first daughter was doing her National Youth Service.

They were a very happy and united family that never expected death will come so soon. Who expects early death anyway? Well, in his 26 years of marriage, he never deemed it necessary to change his next of kin status. It never occurred to his wife either to ask. Then he died suddenly due to heart attack.

The burial ceremony was peaceful and all members of the extended family were united all through the burial period. The time came for the gratuity to be paid, everything changed. The elder brother, whom he used as the next of kin insisted the money must be paid to him but the deceased man’s wife and children refused. A legal battle ensued.

For more than 5 years, the widow was at legal war with his in-laws and that stalled a lot of things. One, the tradition in the university community is that when a man dies in active service, his wife will be compensated with a job equivalent to her qualification and she will be allocated a house in the staff quarters. But due to the lingering crisis, the woman did not get such benefits as early as she should have. Besides, the woman and her children went through both emotional and physical turmoil though they eventually won the case.

The moral lesson is for women to be wise and act fast before it is too late. You must not be so pushy about it lest the action will be misinterpreted. But it is always good to know who your husband’s next of kin is. At least, it will help you know if it is a deliberate choice by your husband to retain such a person as next of kin or an oversight. Mind you, most African men don’t have a will and many will not still have.

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